Scarcity, Identity & Filtered Photos.

So the whole "girl blogger reader" thing seems to have a few requirements that I've noticed. One is a filtered photo of your coffee or tea cup. Cool, I can do that. Here goes. 

Anthropologie cup and woven blanket. Hipster win.

But we're also supposed to post pictures of the covers of the books we're reading apparently. Well I'm gonna lose my hipster cred by admitting that my current read is on my kindle app. You already know what an Ipad looks like. So I'll spare you the pic and just give you my stream of consciousness thoughts on it.

I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Her TedTalks are out of the this world, check them out.

The books is about vulnerability, but she starts by laying a foundation that I would never have connected to vulnerability. 

It starts with scarcity. We define ourselves by a particular attribute, it follows that we must perceive that attribute as scarce in order for the attribute to bestow on us any value. This leads us to feel threatened by others exhibiting anything that is similar to our attribute.

So mind mind jumped over here to how I don’t like the phrase “You can be anything you want to be.” You are not a thing. You are a person. You are not defined by your profession. You cannot engage in any profession you want. You will always, in some way, be limited by circumstances.

But you can choose who you want to be. You don’t have to be limited by other people’s boxes. You can be a Christian Feminist, a Blue Collar Yogi, a Philosopher Farmer. Mutual exclusivity really needs to be rethought. Don’t let anyone tell you that one part of your identity negates another.

We are none of us one thing. We are a mixture of so much. All the things that make up who are matter. They are equally true. Focusing on one is not healthy. Denying is not healthy. We have to understand that we cannot be summed up in sentence, or four letters, or a color, or a status, or google analytics. Those things are not who we are.

We are surrounded by choices. But they aren’t always either/or propositions, even though they are generally put to us that way. So many dichotomies are so fundamentally false. We forget that Truth is not scarce. Two opposite statements can be equally true. Humans are evil. Humans are valuable. You are fucked-up. You are enough, just as you are. You can be more. You will always matter.

We are so worried about becoming what we want to be that we forgot to consider who we want to be. If we want to be people who are brave enough to be vulnerable, people who matter to others, people who show others just how much they matter, we need to take a step back.

You can’t be anything you want. You can be anyone you want. Who do you want to be? Because that person will be who they are whether they’re working in a factory, on a stage, in an office, a hospital, or living in a van down by the river.

Don’t be afraid to be happy. The world tells you not to because you’ll lose whatever happiness you find. Maybe. Dare to be happy anyway. Nothing lasts forever, happiness is no exception. But that means sadness doesn’t last forever. Neither are they mutually exclusive. You can find joy in sadness, and happiness punctuated by grief. The presence of one doesn’t negate the other. 

You won't always be happy, and that's fine. But some happiness is better than avoiding from happiness because you know it's fleeting. That's not brave. And it doesn't keep you from being hurt.

You can be happy. You can be happy with the person you are and the things you do, even there's no one to validate. We are really obsessed with sharing. We can't just enjoy a photo or that witty thing we wrote. We have to share it with the world. This blog is a perfect example. 

Don't get me wrong, sharing is great. It can foster connection, let us know we aren't alone, and open us up to new things we wouldn't otherwise be able to experience. We need to share. But we shouldn't rely on sharing. We rely on others relating to the things we produce to validate ourselves. That is certainly powerful, but shouldn't be the only measuring stick we use. There's nothing wrong with appreciating your work just because it's your work.

There's nothing wrong with working on a project that takes time. Most of us can't really work on long-term projects because we can't immediately share it. We play draw something instead of actually drawing things. I think it's because we can share that immediately, we can get validation immediately. Just my thoughts. Here's a cute kitten dressed like Kermit.