It's been forever! So much has happened since last we spoke. It's hard to believe those wild and wonderful Peace Corps times were almost four years ago! But enough about me. How are you? I hope you're well. Getting rest, taking your vitamins, smelling the roses, all that jazz. I was kind of lying earlier. That wasn't nearly enough about me. Since we last spoke I've been all over... the midwest. It's a great place, and if you've never visited, you absolutely, definitely should. Do it now! (Because soon it will be all kinds of cold and nasty, so you'll want to avoid that if possible).
So if you're wondering what enticed me back from my previous glamourous, exotic lifestyle, the answer is free graduate school. Yep, some schools do pretty great things for Returned Peace Corps Volunteers.
Yessirree, I came back and finished out my early twenties as God intended, finding myself (by which I mean interning my butt off, mastering lit reviews, sobbing about my thesis, and partaking in way too much Chinese food and netflix).
I got to explore the state of Illinois via driving international college students around in 15 passenger vans (you really haven't lived until you've had the entire beginnig English trying to direct you as you blindly back a giant van into traffic). I have had to explain Groundhog Day to many international guests. The most common response is "you know those things can't actually talk, right?"
Yes. But it illustrates a very significant aspect of my new adulthood, my post-peace corps life: America is pretty weird if you think about it. Why do we have a holiday pretending groundhogs talk? When did we decide on pajamas all day err'y day? Aeresol cheese? A hundred different kinds of aeresol cheese? Not judging, just saying, we're an eccectric people.
It took some getting used to when I came back. It took a lot of getting used to, in fact. Let me just tell you, when you are used to two-hour siestas everyday, the American work week is a MAJOR buzzkill. And don't even get me started about the weather. What, I have to go to work when it's raining? Come on guys.
There are, however, some which habits run so deeply, you just can't break them. My parents drilled punctuality into us as kids. It was never something I could unlearn, even after I showed up an hour late to a party and ended up still arriving an hour before anyone else. Ah, my punctual heart is happy again. And now we have these wonderful devices which allow us to arrive early and pretend to be doing important things! We don't have to just sit there like some lonely, over eager loser, now we can just be those super cool people who are so popular that everyone's always texting them.
That's a life win for this awkward turtle. It's funny that we seem to think that we should somehow be less awkward as we get older. That's absolutely not how it works (at least from my experience, if you are totally super smooth in your dotage, more power to you!). As I've gotten older, I've gotten a much better handle on who I am and what I want. I have completely lost the desire to be around people who are aren't bringing good things into their environment. Granted, I have to check myself on a regular basis to make sure that I'm bringing good things into my environment. But I'm definitely more discerning.
That's how I would love to think of myself, alas the truth is, I'm just awkward. It's a lot of work to meet people and talk to them. I mean all those buzzfeed lists about awkward people could have been written about me. However, the fact that somebody made a list tells me that I'm not the only one out there! Hooray! Awkward turtles unite! (but online first because meeting for the first time in person is exhausting).
Being awkward is good because at least it's honest. I did well in Cambodia because I could handle awkward. If I could update my resume into actual usable skills, awkward tolerance would be at the top. The thing is that it's ok to be an awkward foreigner in another country. It's different here though. I was always kind of an awkward kid. I loved living overseas because awkwardness was expected from my weird, foreign self. Back in the states, it's a whole other ball game. When I first came back, I was really afraid.
After three years back, I feel like I own it. I am still super duper awkward. But it's fine. It happens. Life goes on. And it makes me wonder why it bothers us so much. Why do we expect that we should feel at ease in every situatoin? Why do we expect that we should exactly how to act in any situation? Is it that we watch too much tv? Is it because the camera doesn't cut away at the right moment in real life?
Why are normal things like elevator rides and bathroom run-ins and seeing someone you know down the hall when they're still too far to speak to so darn hard?
So now I do the most awkward thing ever. I work with international college students. No one ever really has any idea what's going on, and that's part of what makes it so great. It's honest. No one has it all together. Everyone feels like a fraud just waiting to be found out. We're all making it up as we go. And to be able to work in a place where that's understood is pretty amazing. For any job seeking youths out there, this is a very important quality to look for in any future workplace. Also I just love the word "youths" and wanted a reason to use it.
I always wanted to make a difference beyond the rural Midwest. I wanted to save the world. Or at least a part of it, preferably the poorer, mud hut-y parts. What I learned is that there are ton of people out there who are way more qualified than me to be saving the world.
That's great, because I have some great world-saving ideas, but I'm probably a bit lacking in the implentation area. So instead of running the U.N., or something fancy like that, I stuck to what I know. I know how to make super awkward interactions less awkward. I know how to help people talk to those who they might have felt were too different to understand them. I've learned how live honestly (not counting the jaywalking, of course). Also by not working in the UN I'm much less likely accidentally start a war or something. So you're welcome.
I have no idea what this new blog is going to be. The thoughts and musings of single gal and her pals just trying to make in the big city? Nope. Definitely not that. It might be fun anecdotes or thoughts on current events or maybe just cute pictures of baby animals. Who doesn't love baby animals? It's also possible Tina Fey memes will feature prominently. Who knows? Basically I just like typing words and I know you love reading them, so you're welcome again!
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